Got Mik?

I reached the peak of my lowest today. I'm one good example who is affected PMS. I'll get very very emotional. Apparently this morning's nibble of Hersheys did not work its magic to get me chocolate-high and cheer me up. Worse still, I already had a hard time coping with the cashier job at Martell's. I'm getting better in handling with USD. Yesterday my hands were really trembling when handling the nickels, dime, penny and quarters- the funny looking coins. Why must the 5 cent coin be much larger than the 1 cent coin? With improvements in money, I still made some blunders in the orders. It was such an embarassment! Even though the employer/ collegues and even the customers are nice enough, I still feel damn bad la.. They must be thinking why is this chinese girl so dumb =(

Why must cheese pizza means plain pizza (sauce+cheese) instead of just cheese? Why is sausage with everything without cheese, instead of everything? Why is chicken philly with cheese = chicken cheese steak and no one bother to tell me? Why why why??

I'm not getting along well with the locals too. Like Mike, our manager. Not like we are in bad terms, but just that compared to Char, I'm not that "close". Or rather not that much of interactions. I just can't be bothered. As I get older, I became more unfriendly. Last time I used to be more than ecstatic to meet new friends. Now I really can't be bothered to do it. Such a chore. I'm getting weird. I'm like so stuck in my own world. Even the days staying in hall, I literally just staying in my own room. I do not go for suppers, talk cock in other's room or whatsoever. I only interact with Teresa. But I must say we don't get to be very close, like other people with their roomies. Sorry Teresa =( I just seemed so busy, but I really have no idea what I'm busy with. At the end of the day, I realised I did not talk to her, did not complete my work, did not get enough sleep etc. So what the hell have I been doing exactly? I don't know too..

(Anyway back to US) I feel lost. A little culture-shocked, a little home sick, feel a little out of place, a little lonely. Unlike Char again, she will almost go downstairs everyday to chat with the guys, eat with them etc. There I am, hiding in the room. What nonsense am I doing? I can't recall again.. It's not that I don't want to join them and be anti-social. Everytime I'm done with work, I want to shower, but in order not to stink myself up in the kitchen, I would rather not go down. As the guys are constantly eating and I am on diet, I keep myself away again. Or when everyone is using lappie together downstairs, I was a loner again because I am too lazy to take my charger down. Yeah thats me.

I need to find back myself, I've really changed, and I don't like it. Weirdo.

Hope this trip will be a blast! Sun-tanning, shopping, knowing more friends, and living the American dream!!